QUE THE INDEPT THINKER

I'm in that place again friend ... its just so windless ... I read somewhere that white coloured aura means an absence of aura i'm aura less .. i've tired unsuccesfully to fill my lifes sails with wind .... and I constantly feel like this has been an endless circle .. to be honest I dont remember exactly when I began to feel this way ...if indeed i'm feeling ... now most peopel who put there thoughts into ink are at a certain point in there lives, to write a degree of security is needed ... I feel as though I write from pure instinct ... is it natural talent ... why do I find it so hard to believe in me ..this is the point of security all writers have reached they believe... i'm angry all the time because I cant find what i've been looking for no friends can help ... what am I missing I feel as though a mental dam has been placed on the part of my brain that takes the ideas and acts upon them ... i'm overflowing with ideas its driving me crazy ..but i just cant get them out and about walking, sparking others ... i'm auraless  (# 01 )