Recently I've been involved in and making big plans and preparations for my future, but nothing seems right, I feel like i'm just being caught up in the trappings of consumerism. It doesn't feel authentic, and i made a promise to myself to always give something pure to the world, whether its writing,photography,or film.  The weight of our consumer world however pushes away the truly innate artiste and replaces that with notions of creativity fueled by the lure of money instead, its hard being true to your values and saying no even to those who's hearts are in the right place... the outcome remains to be seen .... I'll eventually leave but till  then... i'm struggling to remain true to my artist views... struggling to ignore what others put out and trust my own self not to be better than them,  but just to be me ... struggling not to rush my creative engine .... comment if u feel the same ... as of right now i feel so alone   ~ Ryan W.